Casual dating I learned the power of boundaries

He got up, packed his things, and went into the bathroom without a word. I lay there, staring at the ceiling, feeling the familiar emptiness creep up inside me. What had I gained? For him, a little physical pleasure and maybe a quick hug afterward, but for me, nothing. No connection, no care, no real intimacy. He didn’t even give me a towel to dry myself off; he just returned to bed, turned over, and fell asleep with his back to me. Was that all I was worth? I could hear him snoring next to me. At that moment, I felt stupid. I had given my body, time, and energy without getting anything in return. That night, something clicked. I had lived in a “hook-and-hook culture” for so long that casual dating was transactional: short, distant, and rarely satisfying. There was no mutual respect or care, and it was becoming increasingly complex to ignore the emotional emptiness that came with it. But I also realized that I had been treating my body like a commodity, offering it up in situations where I had little control over the exchange. Did I not deserve more? That’s when I started to understand. I didn’t have to give up my body to be accepted, and I certainly didn’t have to be transparent to do so. It was time to own my body, set my terms, and stop seeking approval from partners who didn’t value me. I needed to redefine my values.
I was treating my body like a commodity
I started casual dating when I was 18, not fully understanding what it meant. Casual dating: I first encountered the concept of a sugar daddy and was fascinated by the idea. A man who would financially support my aspirations and allow me to live a peaceful, luxurious, feminine life? Did it feel like a life that every woman should experience? One day, a strange man found me on a casual dating site for a freshman. His son was also a freshman, who was odd in retrospect, but I didn’t care then. He contacted me, expressed interest, and soon started messaging me for casual dates. At one point, he asked about casual dates, and I raised the price each time. He agreed without hesitation. Eventually, we met in person, and the process was easy. I made what I would typically have had to work 30 hours a week for in just one hour. I felt empowered, secure, truly valued, and appreciated in a way I had never experienced.
As I continued to serve as a casual dating partner
I felt an immediate shift in my attitude toward my body and self-worth. What at first felt like an exciting opportunity to earn money quickly turned into something much more meaningful? In the casual dating world, I was no longer giving away a part of myself without getting much in return. I was in control, and this feeling of power was, and still is, incredible. I no longer offered my body for approval. I decided who I wanted to be involved with, what to provide, and how much my time and casual dating were worth. This shift in mindset was revolutionary for me.
I realized that the most important thing was not just the deal itself but the recognition that I could set the terms for myself. In the past, when I was casual dating, I often felt like I had to give more of myself than I was comfortable with to get the other person interested in me. However, through casual dating, I learned the power of boundaries, which became a way to protect my energy and emotions. If someone wasn’t going to respect my limits, I didn’t have to get involved. There was no reason to put up with an uncomfortable situation or settle for less than I deserved. I could walk away.